It's a Man's World

I had to make a trip to Puerto Plata yesterday to check the brakes on my Jeep.  Puerto Plata is a good 24 km from Sosua and my tank was on empty, so I pulled over for gas at the Shell Station in Montellano.

The scene was quite humorous... as soon as the attendants saw me pulling up, the sea of motoconchos were parted as they made way for the gringa... because... you know... we gringas all have money...

I rolled down my window and told the attendant how much I wanted.  As I turned forward again in my seat, I noticed two motoconcho drivers within arm's length from my window watching me, one sitting on his bike and the other leaning up against the railing.

"Haven't you always wanted a white girl?" one of the men said to the other.

      The other replied, "Yea, especially a blonde one with a Jeep..."

Alright, here we go, Lauren...  How are you going to respond?  I decided to play along.

                                              "Have you asked God for one?"

The two men, surprised by my response, laughed before answering my question.

"God won't answer us... He's punishing us with the women we already have!" 

They joked in agreement at their response.  I let them quiet down before I pushed forward.

                                              "Why do you think you're being punished?"

I had to repeat myself over the noise.

"Because of how we live.  You're a Christian?" 

     "Wow, a blonde with a Jeep AND she's christian... that's even better!" the other man chimed in,            quite pleased with himself.

                                              "Yes, I am," I said, "Are you christian?"

"Me? No."

                                              "Why not?"

The man smiled, "Some day, but not today."

Unfortunately, I get this answer way too often.  By this point, the attendant closed my gas cap and was writing up a receipt.  I knew I needed to end the conversation soon. 

                             "You know, Jesus is waiting for you.  He loves you... but there will come a time                         when Jesus will return and then it will be too late.  We don't know when that will be."

There was no real reply.  I placed my keys in the ignition and began rolling up my window.

                             "Don't wait too long," I said as I pulled away.

Now, I don't know if the two men loitering at the Shell gas pump had ears to hear these words or not.  Had this interaction come even a year ago, I doubt I would have been able to speak to them without getting riled up.  I probably would have ignored them altogether, but something inside told me to challenge them.

I got back on the road and made my way to the brake clinic in Puerto Plata.  As soon as I pulled in, more men came up to me.  Pardon my language, I don't mean to be crude, but in college when we'd go to parties and there were only men present, we called those "sausage fests"... I felt like yesterday was one big one. 

I prayed for God's favor before arriving because I know how easily I can be taken advantage of as a white woman.  Fortunately, I had been to this shop before and was just getting a check-up.  

The first two men were giving me a hard time when I was explaining the sounds my car has been making...  Crazy gringa.  I've grown accustomed to this by now and I've learned to keep pushing through until someone hears me... like the persistent widow who kept knocking until she drove the judge insane! (Luke 18:1-7)  Believe me, The Lord keeps me trained in this area through prayer.

The owner drove out with me to listen for himself, and, THANK YOU, JESUS, my car made the noises.  We drove back to the shop for the mechanics to take a look.  After the third time of taking the car out for a drive, the owner began asking me personal questions.  

Where do you live? 

How long have you been here?  

Did you move here by yourself? 

What do you do? 

Are you living alone? 

I can be a bit forthcoming with information some times, but I knew this man was an older brother in Christ and I felt comfortable answering his questions honestly... besides, he had a wedding ring on his left hand, too.  I really have a hard time with lying, which is a good thing, but I can be a bit too trusting at times.

When he finally got to the question I knew he originally wanted to ask, I was honest then, too.

"Are you single?"

                            "Yes."

"You don't have a boyfriend?"

                            "No."

"There's no one you're interested in right now?"

Ok, I thought I was safe... where is he going with this?  

I cut in and explained how I'm waiting for the man God has set aside to be my husband and how this is actually part of my ministry to the girls. That I'm teaching the girls to seek God first and to know that they're beautiful, important, and precious, and that God has a purpose for each one of their lives... that they don't have to seek the streets of Sosua in search of a man or settle for anyone less than what they're deserving as daughters of God.  

Silence.

We had pulled back into the shop at this point and he explained how he can take me next week to another shop because the problem isn't with the brakes.  I appreciated his offer to go with me because as he even suggested, "you're a foreigner and well, you know..." Yes, I do know.  

Now I'm just going to have to pray and be prepared for whatever questions are coming next week. I deeeeeefinitely didn't see that conversation coming when I left my house yesterday morning.  I really hope our little talk doesn't come back and bite me in the butt.

If you know me at all, you know the introvert in me needs alone time to recharge.  I was SO ready to retreat to my car and crank some worship music as I made the trek back to Sosua.  I had had my fill of testosterone for the day.  

The song "It's a man's world" came to mind as I reflected on the interactions I had experienced in the expanse of a few short hours.  It really is.  I'm doing just fine here by myself, really... God has been teaching me to stand on my own two feet and speak up for myself.  He has given me a voice and has been strengthening me as I lean upon Him.  But it's still not easy being a woman in the DR.  I have to find a balance of being guarded but not too guarded.  I'm still learning the culture and discerning people's intentions and motives here.  

The scripture from 1 Peter 3:15 comes to my heart now...

"But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect."

Shouldn't we all be prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks us for a reason for the hope that is in us? Though I don't know what God is doing in the lives of all the men I spoke with yesterday, I am called to be prepared to answer in gentleness and respect.  This isn't always easy.

As I am being challenged by this word, I challenge you also to lean into the Holy Spirit this week and prepare yourself for whatever questions or encounters unexpectedly come your way.

Trust me.  It's pretty exciting when God leads.