Jehovah-Rapha

My sweet brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am so overwhelmed to the point of tears by the encouragement and prayers you have all lifted up on my behalf.  Truly, God has revealed to me the reality of His promise to never leave or forsake me and He's manifesting this truth through your love and support.

The past three days I have spent laid out on my bed and couch as it had been too painful to stand or even sit up.  I do know some of the infection has left but the abdominal pain hasn't seemed to improve much.

Now, I know it comes as no surprise to you that I'm human.  Sometimes I don't accept this.  I expect myself to have it all together, to be calm, collective, and confident that I'm going to come out of this.

Yyyeeeeeaa... not so much.

Thursday and Friday I cried to Jesus, pleading if I could "just touch the hem of Your garment" and "Lord, if You will, You can heal me." That's all I wanted.  When the antibiotics didn't seem to be working and the pain wasn't improving, fear, sadness, and defeat set in.

I made a few Skype calls home to my sister, parents, and a close friend... and in all the calls, I broke down sobbing.  Fear wrapped its cold fingers around me and I just wanted to be embraced by the love of my family and friends at home.

Being human is by no means an excuse to fear.  Jesus, our perfect Love, casts out fear.  We are more than conquerors in Him.  No, I acknowledge my humanness for myself... I opened the door to fear, but if God's grace is enough to send His Son to release the world from fear and disease and death, it's great enough for me.

My friends here have prayed over me, ministered to me, and been there in my need.  Really, God is so good.  Friday night, tired of being afraid and helpless, I knew I had to renew my mind in the thoughts of the Lord.

Saturday morning I woke up and the peace of the Lord filled my heart.  I cannot explain it any other way.  I put on worship music and kept it running all day, and refused to hear, believe, or speak any lies of the enemy.

God, my Healer, Jehovah-Rapha, is alive and well.

I looked up verses of God's promises of healing and began praying through them.

"If you will diligently listen to the voice of the Lord your God, and do what is right in His eyes, and give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptian, for I am the Lord, Your Healer." Exodus 15:26

"You shall serve the Lord your God and He will bless your bread and your water, and I will take sickness away from among you.  None shall miscarry or be barren in your land, I will fulfill the number of your days."  Exodus 23:25-26

"You shall be blessed above all peoples.  There shall be not male or female barren among you or among your livestock.  And the Lord will take away from you all sickness, and none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which you know, will He inflict on you."  Deuteronomy 7:14-15

"I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse.  Therefore, choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying His voice and holding fast to Him, for He is your life and length of your days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them."  Deuteronomy 30:19-20

"May the Lord give strength to His people! May the Lord bless His people with peace!" Psalm 29:11

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His Holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagles'" Psalm 103:1-5

"He sent out His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction." Psalm 107:20

"My son, be attentive to my words, incline your ears to my sayings, let them not escape from your sight, keep them within your heart, for they are life to those who find them and healing to all their flesh.  Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."  Proverbs 4:20-23

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

"Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.  But He was crushed for our iniquities, upon Him the chastisement that brought us peace, and with His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:4-5

"Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily, your righteousness shall go before you, the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard." Isaiah 58:8

"'For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal,' declares the Lord." Jeremiah 30:17

"Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of prosperity and security.  I will restore the fortunes of Judah and the fortunes of Israel, and rebuild them as they were at first.  I will cleanse them from all the guilt of their sin against me, and I will forgive them all their guilt of their sin and rebellion against me.  And this city shall be to me a name of joy, a praise, and a glory before all the nations of the earth who shall hear all the good that I do for them.  They shall fear and tremble because of all the good and all the prosperity I provide for it."  Jeremiah 33:6-9

Whew! If that doesn't just pump adrenaline through your veins, I don't know what will!

In my daily readings I've been working through the gospels.  Jesus' compassion for the sick and needy saturates the pages.  One miraculous healing after another as a power of healing came upon Jesus (Luke 5:17).

If we believe Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, His healing is just as real and powerful now.  It's in the Bible for a reason.  Jesus even promised that upon His departure to heaven that we would receive the Spirit and do works much greater than these! (John 14:12-14)

Our church has been camping out in 2 Corinthians 2:14, looking at the "triumphant church."  Today, we were reminded that Christ ALWAYS LEADS us in triumphal procession... not sometimes or almost always... ALWAYS.

In order to BE triumphant, we have to first win the battle.  God is leading us into situations to be triumphant and victorious.  And we must resist the enemy and his schemes... with the words "it is written..." (Matthew 4).

Hallelujah!

We don't have to retreat, attack, be on defense, or peacefully coexist with the devil and his lies.  It is true that the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but my Savior came that I may have life and have it ABUNDANTLY (John 10:10).  I nearly forgot that Jesus saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven, and has given me authority to tread over all the power of the enemy and that nothing shall hurt me (Luke 10:18).

I'm not saying that the devil got me sick.  But as our adversary, he prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  How does he do it? By taking the Truth from us.

There is more power in our thoughts than we give credit and I had to renew mine with the Words of My Healer.

I'm not one who likes to draw a whole lot of attention to myself... believe me, I have to fight feelings of being mortified that I've shared this illness with you at all and in asking for prayers for myself... so I am seriously overwhelmed by the amount of people who have read my recent post and are praying.  I know your prayers, the prayers of God's righteous ones, have power as they are working.

(I also don't want you to worry! I'm in Good Hands.)

Even though I still haven't been healed completely, I know the promise is mine.

God is faithful.

ALWAYS.

On The Mend

After a week of  progressive abdominal pain, I decided I should face my fears and go to the doctor.  Those of you who know me know it had to be pretty painful for me to even consider going to a doctor, let alone in a third-world country where I may or may not be able to communicate effectively.

Good news, between my Spanish and the doctors' English, everyone was understood.

Bad news, I'm not well.

A blood test, urine test, and sonogram later, I'm on four different medications to treat inflammation and infection.  The way things work down here, I didn't get prescribed medication till the following day, enduring a sleepless night.  I've had my first day of medications, but I'm still in quite a bit of pain.  (Soliciting your prayers)

We had our women's bible study this afternoon and I didn't want to miss it.  The way I saw it, I could be miserable at home or miserable in God's Word and fellowship.  Pretty easy choice.

God has truly blessed me and shown me how His church is to be, act, and respond, living out His word.  Today we prayed the commands James gave,

"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray.  Is anyone cheerful?  Let him sing praise.  Is anyone among you sick?  Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.  And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up.  And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:13-16

Having been anointed with oil in the name of the Lord, I know healing is here, because Jesus is here.

I figure if I'm to fully capture my experiences in the Dominican Republic, I ought to give you the real picture.  We get miserably sick down here, too.  More evidence?  A member of our church here recently contracted Dengue and for a while was out for the count.  Others are battling head colds brought on by climate changes and various other illnesses.    It's certainly not easy living in a country with amoeba and bacteria-filled water, disease-carrying mosquitoes, and unclean conditions.

But you do your best to get by and God's healing protection covers it all.

Why, then, do we get sick? Did I do something to warrant this, to open the door?  It could be, but more than likely, it's just the susceptibility of the environment around me.  That's the world we live in.  It can either defeat us or make us stronger.

I'm choosing the later.

The Last Two Months

You know that feeling when you sneak quietly into a class that has already begun?  That's how I feel in writing this entry...  though I haven't been keeping up with my blog posts, the world kept turning (imagine that).  Like a tardy student, I hope that no one noticed; however, to catch you up on the past two months, I'll start from the beginning...

I flew home to surprise my extended family at Thanksgiving.  My grandmother nearly passed out as I came downstairs the first morning (you can see the video here).  She stared at me in disbelief, followed by her jaw dropping and then tears.  It was such a joyful reunion since it had been exactly a year since I had seen them last.  I had Skyped with her just days before from my house in the DR... she had no idea of my plans to surprise her.  

After Thanksgiving, I visited with many friends and tried to adjust back into the American culture for awhile.  

The first weekend in December, my best friend from college, Lynsay, whom I hadn't seen in two years, came down from Maryland to see me. My brother is currently working at Disney and was able to get the two of us, and his girlfriend, Sarah, into a couple of the parks for a day.  It was such a sweet time to catch up and be reminded of how blessed I am for such a precious friendship.

No lines at the "Character Stop" gave us a reason to smile with Pluto!

The second weekend in December I took a roadtrip over to Brandon, FL to see my dear friend, Linda (who is back in the DR with me now!) and up to Pine Mountain, GA to see another amazing woman in my life, Rhonda.  I so enjoyed my time spent with both women as I once again sought wisdom, direction, and restoration from the Lord.  Not to mention the long hours of driving alone were so good for my soul amid the holiday chaos.

Pitch black on the "Fantasy of Lights" trolley in Callaway Gardens, GA with Rhonda!

Being back in the states this time around was more difficult than the first.  I don't know if it was because I had been more saturated in the Dominican culture during the Suchers' furlough or if it was the heightened sense of consumerism during the holidays, but my heart and head were reeling.  I even recall tearfully breaking down in the middle of a Kohl's, overcome with feelings of selfishness and guilt that the amount of money I spent could feed a family for a month in Redemption or any other village.

I know it's normal for missionaries to experience a reverse culture shock, but I didn't think it would hit me quite so hard, especially since I had made a trip back earlier that year.

I also began grappling with the realization that my year-long commitment to the Lord and the Suchers in the DR had come to an end.  Naturally, I began asking myself the tough questions.

Were the goals that I set out to do accomplished? 

Do I continue on the path I've been going or does God have something different?

What is that "something different"?

What does God want me to do now?

All these questions, the fears of the unknown, and the emotions of being in a first-world country again weighed so heavily on me.  I felt like I was drowning in a sea of confusion, uncertain of which way was up.

After prayer and seeking wisdom from spiritual counsels in my life, I sensed the Lord was redirecting me, but I had no idea where to... in the DR? in Florida? in the States?

All I knew was that I had my ticket booked back to the DR January 3rd, 2013.  Beyond that, I stepped out in faith that the Lord would lead me, claiming hold of Isaiah 30:21...

"And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left."      

I returned to the DR with expectancy, accepting that God could call me home or open a new door here. After three days, the Lord told me to "wait" before I made any decisions.

Wait? Wait for what?  I don't particularly enjoy waiting, but I know what God says of those who do wait on Him (Isaiah 40:31, Lamentations 3:25, Isaiah 64:4, Isaiah 30:18, Psalm 37:7-9... just to name a few).

I have been praying that the Lord would remove any spirit of confusion and bring wisdom and clarity.  I want to honor God with my life and follow His will, so much that I began fearing that I would make a poor decision, fall out of His will, and ruin His plans.

Last weekend I attended a women's "Encounter" retreat where the Lord brought an end to these fears.  He sees my heart, He sees my desire to honor and please Him, and He loves me not because of who I am or what I have done, but because of who He is and what He has done.

While on the retreat, the Lord fulfilled a desire in me to be baptized again.  I was baptized as an infant, but last year the Lord placed it on my heart to be baptized by my choice.  I know it makes no difference to my salvation, but it was something I so wanted to do in my relationship with the Lord, knowing the scriptural significance of such a decision.  So around 11 pm Saturday night, I was baptized among amazing Spirit-filled women... wouldn't have changed a thing!

Our Pastor here also delivered a word that is still lingering in the air around me.  He charged us to heed the words of Paul in Philippians 3:13-14 and ask the Lord what that "one thing" is in our life that stirs deep passion and excitement.  What is that "one thing," that one desire God has placed in your heart?

I knew right away.  That "one thing" for me is for God's children to know they are deeply loved, to know that they are important, and to know that He has divine plans for their lives.  

The Lord is answering prayers all around me, closing doors and opening others.  In time, I know everything will be made clear.  I'm excited about all that is happening on the north coast and I truly sense a revival breaking out.

Though I don't have all the pieces, the Lord is bringing direction. I'm still praying and would love for you to join me.

When I know, you'll know.  I'll try to be "on time" next post.