"How will you know?"

I didn't want to go out to the village yesterday.

Really, to be 100% honest, I get this way at about 3:00 pm on the days I plan to go out there.  

I fight with my flesh, my fears, my insecurities.  I think, "what are we going to talk about?"... "should I have prepared something?"... "what if the girls are busy?"

I can relate so well to Elijah, who upon witnessing the miraculous fiery-engulfment of a thrice soaked altar of God and after single-handedly slaughtering 450 prophets of Baal, hides and barricades himself in a cave because one psychotic woman wants him dead. 

Do you know what God said to him in that cave? "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

Likewise, God didn't bring me to the DR to be anxiously pent up in my apartment.  "What are you doing here, Lauren?"

So, an hour before I planned to head out, I grabbed my bible, turned on worship music, and laid down on my bed.  Be still, my soul.  

I've been praying through scripture recently, and yesterday I prayed from Ephesians 3:16-19 that "God would grant [me] to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in [my] inner being, so that Christ may dwell in [my] heart through faith- that [I], being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that [I] may be filled with all the fullness of God."

I feel so weak and so unequipped for this task at times.  My Spanish, though I pray is improving with each passing day, is still mediocre, and honestly, I have nothing to give to this community but Jesus.  I continued to cry out to God to strengthen me through His Spirit in my inner man and to be filled with the fullness of God.  I know I cannot do this alone... nor do I want to.

I think of how wonderful it would be if Jesus, Himself, would be physically manifested and join the girls in our makeshift circle on that front patio every week.  How much easier it would be!

But, you know what? He is... through me.  That transaction was made years ago.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me (Galatians 2:20). 

Sometimes, you've just got to sing your way... read your way... pray your way into the Truth.  What a difference spending time with the Maker of the universe can do in renewing our hearts and minds. 

The Lord gave me strength and courage to get in my car and drive out to the village.  As always, before I could even take the keys out of the ignition, little hands found their place on the driver's side window.  Taking their hands in mine, we made our way to our meeting place outside of Marie Ester's house.  

It started out like any other day.  I asked the girls how their day had been and listened as they all got a chance to share. Some of the girls put on a "drama" for me and everyone was just content to be there.  Then one of the girls asked if I ever had a "manzana de oro", or a gold apple (not to be confused with a Golden Delicious apple). I actually have never eaten one, so all the kids, but one, got up and ran to the tree 3 houses away... they were on a mission!

The one who stayed behind was Madelin.  This precious, gentle 11 year-old is the girl who, when we first met, likened me to a princess waiting for her prince.  She is truly hungry for the things of God's Kingdom and is so very curious of my convictions.  It's quite beautiful. 

"I have a question.  You're waiting for your prince, yes? How will you know when you meet him?"

                "You know, Madelin, that's a very good question."

"I mean, what if you meet a guy and you like him and he likes you but he's not the one you're supposed to be with?  How will you know?"

                "You're right.  That's why it's so important to talk to God.  I know God will tell                   me, because I've asked Him to."

Marie Ester then joined in and shared a folk story about a man who was most handsome, a son of a pastor, and had all the money he could want.  Every girl wanted to be with him but he had no interest in them because he was waiting for the woman God had for him.  It wasn't until he met one woman, beautiful beyond compare, that he fell head-over-heals and was certain God was telling him she was the one.  Thing is, the devil also knows God's word and speaks lies to us all day to distract us from God's will.  Well, long story short, he married this woman against his church's concerns and, after they consummated their marriage, his new wife emerged from bathing and came out with blood-red eyes... she was actually a demon!  The man then became crazy and ended up with nothing in life.

Seriously... these are the types of stories the kids grow up with!

Anyways...

Madelin then asked me, "What if you meet a man and you think he's the one God has for you, but then he bathes and comes out with blood-red eyes?"

              "I'd run as far away as I could!"  We both had a good laugh on that one!

I told her how she should come this Sunday to children's church because I'm going to be sharing a story about a man after God's heart.

"You mean King David?"

            "Yes, King David.  I pray that my husband is a man after God's heart like David.             God will tell me who that is.  He will give me peace about it."

Last week we learned about how God had Samuel anoint Saul to be the first king of Israel and how Saul allowed the sin of pride to choke out his calling, leading him into disobedience.  I gave the kids a teaser last week that the next king wasn't someone the Israelites would have thought would be a worthy king compared to the physical appearance of Saul, but that there was something very special about him.

At that point, the kids on a mission came back with a bucket full of manzanas de oro and passed around 3 knives as we peeled off the tough skin.  The girls were asking me if I knew how to peel an apple and studied me to make sure I was doing it right.  It was darn cute how they wanted to take care of me.

As we were doing this, another one of the girls came to sit by me.  I noticed on her right hand she had made a ring out of a silver pipe cleaner and had placed it on her ring finger - the exact same hand and finger that I wear my ring on.  She smiled up at me when I suggested that we're like twins.

And she is not the only one that I've noticed who has started to wear a ring on her right hand now.  Something beautiful is taking place, however slowly it may be.

I've gone out every week this summer with nothing more than Christ in me, and look at what He's doing.  I haven't brought any give-aways, crafts, games, or candy... nothing.  I'm just giving them Jesus, who is more than enough.

We forget sometimes that "we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12).  I shouldn't be surprised, then, when I feel defeated or hear voices of doubt.  Satan is fully aware of the work God is doing and he wants nothing more than for me to stay home and hide the Light within me.

We must stand firm in God's Word, take up the whole armor of God, and know that He who is in us is greater than he who is in this world (1 John 4:4).  We are called to shine God's Light and to be a vessel for His glory.

That conversation with Madelin may have never happened had I given in to fear, nor would the girls have started making rings to signify their desire to wait on the Lord and be pursued by a man after God's heart.

What other things does God have for us to do that we're missing out on because of fear?


"Be on guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong." 1 Corinthians 16:13