June has come and gone, as well as my brief trip to the states and Africa. Isn't it incredible how quickly time passes?
Many have inquired about Africa and what God has revealed to me there, yet unfortunately, this blog wont be about that...
Not yet.
I'm still processing through much of what I experienced. Traveling from one mission field to another with a quick week in the states can do a number on your emotions. My parents can attest to this as there wasn't a day with them that I wasn't breaking down in tears over something.
No, this one is about my case of the Mondays on Monday.
I had had my fill of traveling for one month (about 50 hours in total to be exact) and honestly, I didn't want to see another plane, let alone get on one. But when I arrived in the DR this week, I wanted to jump on the next plane and turn right back around.
Why? Well, to make a terribly long day of travel woes short, my luggage was nowhere to be found on the conveyor belt in Puerto Plata.
Seems harmless enough, right? It's just stuff. No big deal. And though my heart knew this, my head was reeling in panic...
What if someone walked out with it?
Did it get left in Orlando? in Miami?
Has someone gone through it and taken items?
Will I ever see it again?
These fears haven't emerged out of nowhere. I have had items mysteriously vanish from my suitcase before in my 5 years of traveling to the DR. I have borne witness to an entire sewing machine disappearing from a missionary's belongings. Though the airline system here has significantly improved in the past couple years, there's still a part of me that does not trust and it grieves my heart to admit this.
But what it really came down to is in who, or rather, what I had placed my security. I was brought to the realization that clearly not all my security was in the Lord, which I repented of the following day.
Having traveled half way around the world and back just the week before and transitioning back into temporary life in the states before returning to my "home" in the DR, I would be dishonest if I said I had faithfully and steadily continued cultivating my relationship with the Lord.
We spoke to one another and knew one another was there, but God did not have my undivided devotion. I forsook our quiet times together and it was evident by my moodiness and irritability (sorry, mom and dad). Like my nightly need of 8+ hours of sleep, if I haven't spent sufficient time with my Jesus, watch out.
I know skimping on my time with God grieves the Holy Spirit. So what do I do? I do the very thing I ought not to do and, in so many words, hide. But I knew on Tuesday that, having returned with one less bag, to a lawn decorated with a week's worth of dirty diapers and used feminine products courtesy of my dogs, a dead car battery, and the loveliest shade of lime green in the shared pool out back...I desperately needed my Lord and Savior.
I put on an International House of Prayer (IHOP) worship set and immediately was ministered to as Laura Hackett Park began singing over and over...
I admit, my thoughts were contrary to this truth at that moment so I asked for forgiveness and for the Holy Spirit to renew my mind in Him as I allowed these words to wash over me.
Then, I heard the Lord instruct me to ask of Him and it shall be given unto me (Matthew 7:7).
Can we just stop for a moment? In my neglect of the Lord, He offers Himself and tells me I will be given whatever I ask for? He is one merciful and long-suffering God.
So, I began asking the Lord to not only return my luggage to me but to recover it completely untouched. At my request for my bag to be recovered, I was instantly reminded of a story of David when he went into the enemy's camp and recovered all that was taken. I went searching for this story in the bible and found it in 1 Samuel 30.
Whoa. More reason to why we must hide His word in our hearts! The Holy Spirit has a way of bringing seemingly discreet parts of scripture to remembrance for divine purposes. I knew at this moment that God was promising He would recover this bag to me with nothing missing, "whether small or great."
Two days later, I picked up my bag with nothing missing. I think this is the first time in the history of my Dominican travels where there was not even a TSA proof of inspection note inside.
HE IS FAITHFUL! HALLELUJAH!
And after all this ordeal, God still had an object lesson in there for me. Are you ready for this? It's a doozy.
As I was washing dishes alone last night, I began thinking about posts I just saw on Facebook of friends' dating, engagements, weddings, pregnancies, and birth announcements and photos... being friends with fellow late 20-somethings will flood your newsfeed with these things like crazy. Any single woman can attest to this, and though I do rejoice with these friends immensely (please don't hear me wrong), I allowed it to get the best of me as my selfish thought of "when is it my turn?" manifested itself into a helpless spoon being chucked in the drying rack.
Sure, God is willing and ready to answer my prayer of recovering a delayed suitcase, but where is the fulfillment of prayers for my husband?
Over a year ago, someone asked me if I've ever considered a life of celibacy and that, perhaps, God was calling me to a life of singleness for His glory.... Well, to be quite frank, that felt like a slap in the face. I quickly rebutted that this was not what I believed God was calling me to, but now I'd be lying if I told you the thought hasn't crossed my mind... daily. I have flourished living on my own and have hours to spend with the Lord however I want. I can worship for hours, read for hours, follow God's prompting on who I go visit in the village and on what days, and I only have to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for myself. I don't even have to share Netflix. Not a bad life at all!
Yet, I get lonely and not in the "I need a roommate" lonely kind of way. Lord knows I don't need another dog, either.
I've shared before how it's been my prayer for 2 years that God would send a man after God's heart to pursue my own heart in front of the girls, boys, and families in the village, a testimony that "no one who waits on the Lord will ever be put to shame" (Psalm 25:3). But what if that was never God's will for this ministry? I sense my time in the DR is nearing an end and it is a real possibility that there could never be a fulfillment of this desire and prayer.
The first thought that entered my mind upon learning that my suitcase did not arrive with me was that this was the work of the enemy. I prayed the Lord's favor and protection over this bag before parting ways in Orlando... how could Satan penetrate the blood of Jesus? The answer is, he can't.
Maybe my delayed luggage was God's favor and protection.... Hear me out.
There could have been sticky fingers working at the baggage claim on Monday or maybe someone would have walked out with my bag who was on the plane that day. What if the delayed luggage was my answer for God's favor and protection, and though it was an inconvenience, to see the fulfillment of His promise to me, I had to wait a little bit longer.
Like with my suitcase, I know my prayers have been heard, not the least of which being for the man God has prepared to be my husband and partner in ministry. For some reason, there's a delay, and though you'd think I would have learned to be content in the waiting by now, it's still a process and I'm still human.
So, for any of you who think, "Lauren has it all together... She always trusts in the Lord... She never doubts," you can go ahead and knock me off that pedestal. I waver more than I like to admit, but my God, He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Things aren't always as they appear and God's ways are higher than our own ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). We can try to understand it all, but there just aren't enough helpless spoons to throw in this world. What we do have is one faithful, patient, and merciful God who loves us with an everlasting love. Do we really need anything more?
I'm taking deep breaths and little steps back into routine. Since my return, my car battery has recharged, the pool is slowly coming back to normal, and the yard is free of unsanitary items, except for the occasional dead bird or animal hoof Princesita retrieves every now and then.
And tomorrow is a new day with new mercies.
Selah.
Many have inquired about Africa and what God has revealed to me there, yet unfortunately, this blog wont be about that...
Not yet.
I'm still processing through much of what I experienced. Traveling from one mission field to another with a quick week in the states can do a number on your emotions. My parents can attest to this as there wasn't a day with them that I wasn't breaking down in tears over something.
No, this one is about my case of the Mondays on Monday.
I had had my fill of traveling for one month (about 50 hours in total to be exact) and honestly, I didn't want to see another plane, let alone get on one. But when I arrived in the DR this week, I wanted to jump on the next plane and turn right back around.
Why? Well, to make a terribly long day of travel woes short, my luggage was nowhere to be found on the conveyor belt in Puerto Plata.
Seems harmless enough, right? It's just stuff. No big deal. And though my heart knew this, my head was reeling in panic...
What if someone walked out with it?
Did it get left in Orlando? in Miami?
Has someone gone through it and taken items?
Will I ever see it again?
These fears haven't emerged out of nowhere. I have had items mysteriously vanish from my suitcase before in my 5 years of traveling to the DR. I have borne witness to an entire sewing machine disappearing from a missionary's belongings. Though the airline system here has significantly improved in the past couple years, there's still a part of me that does not trust and it grieves my heart to admit this.
But what it really came down to is in who, or rather, what I had placed my security. I was brought to the realization that clearly not all my security was in the Lord, which I repented of the following day.
Having traveled half way around the world and back just the week before and transitioning back into temporary life in the states before returning to my "home" in the DR, I would be dishonest if I said I had faithfully and steadily continued cultivating my relationship with the Lord.
We spoke to one another and knew one another was there, but God did not have my undivided devotion. I forsook our quiet times together and it was evident by my moodiness and irritability (sorry, mom and dad). Like my nightly need of 8+ hours of sleep, if I haven't spent sufficient time with my Jesus, watch out.
I know skimping on my time with God grieves the Holy Spirit. So what do I do? I do the very thing I ought not to do and, in so many words, hide. But I knew on Tuesday that, having returned with one less bag, to a lawn decorated with a week's worth of dirty diapers and used feminine products courtesy of my dogs, a dead car battery, and the loveliest shade of lime green in the shared pool out back...I desperately needed my Lord and Savior.
I put on an International House of Prayer (IHOP) worship set and immediately was ministered to as Laura Hackett Park began singing over and over...
"You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down... You are good, You are good.... My life is good in Him."
I admit, my thoughts were contrary to this truth at that moment so I asked for forgiveness and for the Holy Spirit to renew my mind in Him as I allowed these words to wash over me.
Then, I heard the Lord instruct me to ask of Him and it shall be given unto me (Matthew 7:7).
Can we just stop for a moment? In my neglect of the Lord, He offers Himself and tells me I will be given whatever I ask for? He is one merciful and long-suffering God.
So, I began asking the Lord to not only return my luggage to me but to recover it completely untouched. At my request for my bag to be recovered, I was instantly reminded of a story of David when he went into the enemy's camp and recovered all that was taken. I went searching for this story in the bible and found it in 1 Samuel 30.
"David recovered all that the Amalekites had taken, and David rescued his two wives. Nothing was missing, whether small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything that had been taken. David brought back all."
Whoa. More reason to why we must hide His word in our hearts! The Holy Spirit has a way of bringing seemingly discreet parts of scripture to remembrance for divine purposes. I knew at this moment that God was promising He would recover this bag to me with nothing missing, "whether small or great."
Two days later, I picked up my bag with nothing missing. I think this is the first time in the history of my Dominican travels where there was not even a TSA proof of inspection note inside.
HE IS FAITHFUL! HALLELUJAH!
And after all this ordeal, God still had an object lesson in there for me. Are you ready for this? It's a doozy.
As I was washing dishes alone last night, I began thinking about posts I just saw on Facebook of friends' dating, engagements, weddings, pregnancies, and birth announcements and photos... being friends with fellow late 20-somethings will flood your newsfeed with these things like crazy. Any single woman can attest to this, and though I do rejoice with these friends immensely (please don't hear me wrong), I allowed it to get the best of me as my selfish thought of "when is it my turn?" manifested itself into a helpless spoon being chucked in the drying rack.
Sure, God is willing and ready to answer my prayer of recovering a delayed suitcase, but where is the fulfillment of prayers for my husband?
Over a year ago, someone asked me if I've ever considered a life of celibacy and that, perhaps, God was calling me to a life of singleness for His glory.... Well, to be quite frank, that felt like a slap in the face. I quickly rebutted that this was not what I believed God was calling me to, but now I'd be lying if I told you the thought hasn't crossed my mind... daily. I have flourished living on my own and have hours to spend with the Lord however I want. I can worship for hours, read for hours, follow God's prompting on who I go visit in the village and on what days, and I only have to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for myself. I don't even have to share Netflix. Not a bad life at all!
Yet, I get lonely and not in the "I need a roommate" lonely kind of way. Lord knows I don't need another dog, either.
I've shared before how it's been my prayer for 2 years that God would send a man after God's heart to pursue my own heart in front of the girls, boys, and families in the village, a testimony that "no one who waits on the Lord will ever be put to shame" (Psalm 25:3). But what if that was never God's will for this ministry? I sense my time in the DR is nearing an end and it is a real possibility that there could never be a fulfillment of this desire and prayer.
The first thought that entered my mind upon learning that my suitcase did not arrive with me was that this was the work of the enemy. I prayed the Lord's favor and protection over this bag before parting ways in Orlando... how could Satan penetrate the blood of Jesus? The answer is, he can't.
Maybe my delayed luggage was God's favor and protection.... Hear me out.
There could have been sticky fingers working at the baggage claim on Monday or maybe someone would have walked out with my bag who was on the plane that day. What if the delayed luggage was my answer for God's favor and protection, and though it was an inconvenience, to see the fulfillment of His promise to me, I had to wait a little bit longer.
Like with my suitcase, I know my prayers have been heard, not the least of which being for the man God has prepared to be my husband and partner in ministry. For some reason, there's a delay, and though you'd think I would have learned to be content in the waiting by now, it's still a process and I'm still human.
So, for any of you who think, "Lauren has it all together... She always trusts in the Lord... She never doubts," you can go ahead and knock me off that pedestal. I waver more than I like to admit, but my God, He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Things aren't always as they appear and God's ways are higher than our own ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). We can try to understand it all, but there just aren't enough helpless spoons to throw in this world. What we do have is one faithful, patient, and merciful God who loves us with an everlasting love. Do we really need anything more?
I'm taking deep breaths and little steps back into routine. Since my return, my car battery has recharged, the pool is slowly coming back to normal, and the yard is free of unsanitary items, except for the occasional dead bird or animal hoof Princesita retrieves every now and then.
And tomorrow is a new day with new mercies.
Selah.
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