Ever had one of those weeks where you knew you were being attacked?
I feel like it's a common theme down here recently. Person after person I talk to seems to be under some kind of attack from the enemy. In a way, I guess that's a good thing. I'd rather the enemy know me by name than pass me by completely.
Jesus, in us, has a way of intimidating the enemy.
This story begins last weekend while I was serving as a youth counselor for a church retreat in the mountains of Jarabacoa. Though I wasn't leading any lessons, I felt God wanted me there for some reason. The enemy hurled lie after lie at me, saying how I wasn't important and that it didn't matter that I was there... however, my prayers for each of the youth did not go unheard and the Holy Spirit broke through on so many levels that weekend.
Not to mention... it was absolutely gorgeous up there...
I came home from the retreat to find a leak in my apartment and my fridge was broken... all my food had to be tossed. I may sound completely crazy but while I was on the retreat, something inside me (perhaps the Holy Spirit?) told me to be prepared for my fridge to break down. Sure enough, the wafting smell of rotten food hit my nose the moment I opened the door.
Right away, I recognized this as an attack and didn't let it get to me. If only it stopped there.
It was just one thing after another, progressing and morphing from physical attacks to emotional and spiritual attacks. I get indignant just thinking about it now.
At one point last week, I became so fearful that the Lord was disappointed with me and therefore would take His Spirit from me. Those days were such torture. Thing is, my times with the Lord lately have been some of the most profound and intimate moments yet. There isn't a day that passes that I haven't heard from the Lord on some level. I feel so blessed, so undeserving, yet so grateful. So the thought of losing this tormented the living daylights out of me.
The Lord met my indignation with Job 1:6-12
I was up on the roof two nights ago praising the Lord with a song that had been in my heart all day. As I was just pouring out those praises and allowing myself to melt in the words, I had a revelation which made me even more indignant towards the enemy. My deepest longing is to be with the Lord; my only hope is in Him and in His Presence... it was only a matter of time the enemy would strike me at my heart's deepest fear of losing the only thing that matters.
You know, I'm discovering that this season is not only to obey a calling to teach and minister to people here, but also to surrender to what God wants to teach and minister to me. Removing me from my comforts of home, stripping me of what I found security in, and strategically placing me in a position to hunger and thirst after Him. God has so faithfully and lovingly drawn me into His arms here, deeper than before. He is teaching me to lean solely on Him as my Maker and Husband (Isaiah 54:5).
He is all I have.
The Lord gave me Psalm 34:4 a year ago (I think it's still written on my mirror at home) that says, "I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears." It is so true. I'm human and I fall into fear; however, I have Jesus, whose perfection casts out fear. He conquered death and He lives in me.
I feel like it's a common theme down here recently. Person after person I talk to seems to be under some kind of attack from the enemy. In a way, I guess that's a good thing. I'd rather the enemy know me by name than pass me by completely.
Jesus, in us, has a way of intimidating the enemy.
This story begins last weekend while I was serving as a youth counselor for a church retreat in the mountains of Jarabacoa. Though I wasn't leading any lessons, I felt God wanted me there for some reason. The enemy hurled lie after lie at me, saying how I wasn't important and that it didn't matter that I was there... however, my prayers for each of the youth did not go unheard and the Holy Spirit broke through on so many levels that weekend.
Not to mention... it was absolutely gorgeous up there...
I came home from the retreat to find a leak in my apartment and my fridge was broken... all my food had to be tossed. I may sound completely crazy but while I was on the retreat, something inside me (perhaps the Holy Spirit?) told me to be prepared for my fridge to break down. Sure enough, the wafting smell of rotten food hit my nose the moment I opened the door.
Right away, I recognized this as an attack and didn't let it get to me. If only it stopped there.
It was just one thing after another, progressing and morphing from physical attacks to emotional and spiritual attacks. I get indignant just thinking about it now.
At one point last week, I became so fearful that the Lord was disappointed with me and therefore would take His Spirit from me. Those days were such torture. Thing is, my times with the Lord lately have been some of the most profound and intimate moments yet. There isn't a day that passes that I haven't heard from the Lord on some level. I feel so blessed, so undeserving, yet so grateful. So the thought of losing this tormented the living daylights out of me.
Thank the Lord for Truth and good friends. Friday morning, a friend of mine ministered to my heart and encouraged me that the Lord never torments us. He is a faithful Lord who keeps His promises to never leave nor forsake us and nothing can separate us from His love.
"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor heights nor depths, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39We prayed in Jesus' name that the enemy leave. He has no place in my home and no place in my thoughts or heart. Oh, how angry I became when I realized what was going on. (Just picture me with clenched fists and grinding teeth as I write this...)
The Lord met my indignation with Job 1:6-12
"Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them. The Lord said to Satan, 'From where have you come?' Satan answered the Lord and said, 'From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.' And the Lord said to Satan, 'Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?' Then Satan answered the Lord and said, 'Does Job fear God for no reason? Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out Your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse You to Your face.' And the Lord said to Satan, 'Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.' So Satan went out from the Presence of the Lord."The Lord knows everything. He knew Satan was attacking me, just as He knows how so many others are under attack here. Did we forget that even Satan must report to the Lord? I'm no Job, nor do I wish his hardships on anyone, but God spoke so powerfully to me through this Scripture to tell me that He sees my faith, knows my heart, and He'll never take His Spirit from me.
I was up on the roof two nights ago praising the Lord with a song that had been in my heart all day. As I was just pouring out those praises and allowing myself to melt in the words, I had a revelation which made me even more indignant towards the enemy. My deepest longing is to be with the Lord; my only hope is in Him and in His Presence... it was only a matter of time the enemy would strike me at my heart's deepest fear of losing the only thing that matters.
You know, I'm discovering that this season is not only to obey a calling to teach and minister to people here, but also to surrender to what God wants to teach and minister to me. Removing me from my comforts of home, stripping me of what I found security in, and strategically placing me in a position to hunger and thirst after Him. God has so faithfully and lovingly drawn me into His arms here, deeper than before. He is teaching me to lean solely on Him as my Maker and Husband (Isaiah 54:5).
He is all I have.
The Lord gave me Psalm 34:4 a year ago (I think it's still written on my mirror at home) that says, "I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears." It is so true. I'm human and I fall into fear; however, I have Jesus, whose perfection casts out fear. He conquered death and He lives in me.
"Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4I've come out swinging, filled with confidence in the Lord. So if you're under attack, tormented by fear, doubts, or worries... take courage. Come away with the Lord. The enemy is no match.
No comments:
Post a Comment